He is such a slut. More and more my type.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
