in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
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