you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
