they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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