I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
