I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
