He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I have already put on my inside pants.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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