She's JV to your varsity
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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