Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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