Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
