Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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