oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
She's the barista slut.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
