Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
