benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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