i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
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I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize