she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
