Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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