Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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