Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
