Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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