Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
