does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
