i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
