I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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