...so i touched it.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
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So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
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The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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