i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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