it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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