I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
