what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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