i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
