Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
