he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
