Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
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