she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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