Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize