see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize