We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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