the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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