i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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