It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize