Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize