You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
