plz talk dirty to me
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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