I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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