Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
