We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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