all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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