Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
