I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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