I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
