last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
