i don't like sucking hair
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
