You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
