i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize