I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
